"I’ve Done You a Disservice": The Power of Clear Leadership
Last week at the Dentistry Show London, I had the pleasure of running two sessions with the brilliant Lisa Bainham. We tackled the topic of leading difficult conversations — those moments that most of us as leaders know are necessary, but would still rather avoid.
After the session, a principal who’d recently taken over a practice came up to me and asked a great question:
“How do I get my staff to turn up on time? They’re always five minutes late.”
You could feel the frustration in the question — but also the honesty. Because every principal has been there at some point: wondering why the team just doesn’t “get it.”
My answer surprised him. I said:
“Next time you have the team together, apologise.”
He looked at me as if I’d misheard him, so I went on:
“Say something like: ‘I owe you an apology. I’ve done you a disservice. I clearly haven’t made my expectations clear enough for you. What I should have said is that timekeeping really matters to me. It’s about respect — for ourselves, our colleagues, and our patients. When we’re not ready on time, it sends a message that we’re not valuing other people’s time.’”
Then, spell out what good looks like. Explain the impact of being late. Describe what you expect — and what they can expect from you.
At that point his face softened into a gentle smile. That moment of realisation: “Ah. I never actually told them what I expect.”
The Leadership Blind Spot
That small smile says a lot.
The truth is, most frustration in teams doesn’t come from defiance — it comes from assumption.
As leaders, we assume people should know what good looks like. We assume they’ll get that we value punctuality, professionalism, follow-through, or accountability. But unless we’ve said it — clearly, kindly, and consistently — it’s just a hope, not an agreement.
In my Great Boss Bootcamp, we call this “clarity before correction.”
You can’t hold people accountable for expectations you’ve never made explicit.
So before you get cross about lateness, missed deadlines, or poor communication, ask yourself:
Have I told them what I expect?
Have I explained why it matters?
Have I connected it to something bigger — like our values, patient care, or team trust?
If not, that’s your starting point. Because when expectations are clear, accountability feels fair.
Clarity is Kindness
Many principals worry that setting expectations feels controlling or patronising. It isn’t. It’s kind.
Clarity removes uncertainty — and uncertainty is stressful.
When people know the rules of the game, they can relax and play well.
That’s why great leadership isn’t about being tough or soft. It’s about being clear.
Clarity about standards.
Clarity about behaviours.
Clarity about what success looks like — for them and for you.
And when clarity is missing, courage fills the gap. The courage to admit, “I’ve done you a disservice by not being clear enough.”
That humility builds trust faster than any policy ever could.
What About You?
If you’re reading this and finding yourself smiling gently — recognising a few “unspoken expectations” in your own team — you’re not alone.
Every great leader has been there. The good ones just choose to fix it.
If you’d like a hand doing that, I offer a complimentary 90-Day Leadership Roadmap Call. It’s a no-pressure, no-strings-attached (yes, really), conversation where we’ll look at what’s happening in your practice, identify the key leadership gaps, and outline what needs to happen next to fix them.
And if it makes sense, we can explore how I might help you get there faster.
Apply for your 90-Day Leadership Roadmap Call here.
Because clarity isn’t just kindness — it’s the foundation of every well-led practice.
