Why Confidence — Not Competence — Is Holding You Back

It's Sunday night, and you're already feeling it.

That familiar tightness in your chest. The mental replay of conversations you avoided this week, decisions you second-guessed, boundaries you didn't set. You know what needs to happen on Monday. You know what you should say. You know what the right call is.

But knowing and doing are two very different things.

And the gap between them? That's not a competence problem.

It's a confidence problem.

The Hidden Weight of Being "Capable"

Most Practice Managers (and Principals) I work with are incredibly competent.

They understand the systems, the schedules, the compliance requirements. They solve problems daily — often before anyone else even realises there's an issue. They're the ones holding it all together.

But here's what I've learned after years of working with hundreds of Practice Managers: competence without confidence is like having a toolbox you're too uncertain to open.

You have everything you need. You just can't bring yourself to use it when it matters most.

So you find yourself:

• rehearsing difficult conversations in your head but never having them

• absorbing pressure instead of redirecting it

• firefighting instead of leading

• saying "I'm too busy to get help" when what you really mean is "I'm too overwhelmed to admit I need it"

Over time, the role starts to feel impossibly heavy. Not because you can't do it — but because you're doing it without the one thing that makes leadership sustainable: confidence in your own authority.

Why This Matters to Me

I think about my son often when I'm working with Practice Managers.

He's a footballer, and I've watched his technical competence grow year after year. His skills are sharp. His understanding of the game is deep. His fitness is off the carts. But the moments when he's been truly outstanding — when he's dominated on the pitch, secured academy places, scholarships, and is now on the verge of a professional contract — those moments haven't come from getting better at football.

They've come from showing up with confidence that matches his competence.

Because the thing is, competence without confidence is potential left on the bench.

And I see it everywhere in Practice Management. Talented, capable people who are struggling — not because they lack skill, but because they've been worn down. They haven't been trained to lead. They haven't been supported in the ways that matter. They've been left to figure it out alone, and somewhere along the way, they stopped trusting themselves.

That breaks my heart. Because I know what's possible when confidence and competence finally align.

The Transformation That Still Gives Me Chills

A Practice Manager came to me not long ago. Her principal had suggested she "get some training," which is often code for "we're concerned about you."

She was low. I don't think she fully realised how low at the time.

She went through the Bootcamp — learned the materials, got coaching, joined the community. But what shifted everything wasn't just the content. It was realising she wasn't alone. That other Practice Managers were facing the same struggles. That she was more capable than she'd been led to believe.

At the end, she said something I'll never forget:

"I came to you not in a good place. I'm leaving as a completely different Manager — and I'm actually enjoying my work again."

That's what confidence does. It doesn't make you perfect. It makes you present. It makes you able to lead, to set boundaries, to have the hard conversations, to trust your own judgment.

And it makes the job feel possible again.

Why "Too Busy" Is the Wrong Answer

When I hear "I'm too busy to get help," I understand what's really being said.

I'm too deep in the overwhelm to see a way out.

But here's the reality: you're not going to get less busy. The practice isn't going to become easier to manage. The people issues won't resolve themselves.

The only thing that changes the trajectory is making your own development a priority.

Think of it this way: right now, you're rowing a boat across a lake with one oar. You're working incredibly hard, going in circles, exhausted by the effort. Leadership training isn't about working harder — it's about clamping an outboard motor to the back of your boat.

Yes, it takes a moment to stop rowing, pull it out of the box, assemble it, and start it up.

But once you do? Your job becomes steering the boat — not powering it.

That's what structured leadership support does. It stops the endless circling and gives you forward momentum.

Confidence Isn't Something You Have or Don't Have

The Practice Managers who grow in confidence aren't more naturally talented or more extroverted.

They simply have:

• clearer expectations about what leadership actually looks like

• tools for handling the conversations they've been avoiding

• a framework for making decisions without second-guessing

• a community that reminds them they're not failing — they're learning

Confidence grows when leadership stops being something you're improvising alone.

That's why I built the Practice Manager Bootcamp around the 10-20-70 model:

• 10% content: the frameworks and tools you actually need

• 20% discussion: talking through the material with others who get it

• 70% implementation: using it in real time, in your actual practice, with support

It's designed to fit into a busy schedule because I know you don't have time for theory. You need something that works while you're working.

Progress over perfection. Consistency over intensity. Small steps that compound into real leadership presence.

Start With Awareness

This is why I created the Practice Manager Confidence Scorecard.

It's a short self-check — just a few minutes — that helps you pause and honestly assess how confident you feel across the areas that matter most:

• Having difficult conversations

• Setting boundaries

• Making decisions without second-guessing

• Leading upward and managing your principal

• Creating structure instead of firefighting

You'll get instant, personalised feedback that shows you exactly where you're strong and where confidence is quietly leaking away.

From there, some people choose to strengthen their leadership through the Bootcamp. Others simply value the insight and use it to reset their approach.

Both are valid.

The important thing is recognising that you're not stuck because you're incapable. You're stuck because you're trying to lead without the support that makes confident leadership possible.

What People Wish They'd Done Sooner

When I ask Practice Managers who've been through the Bootcamp what they wish they'd known earlier, the answer is always the same:

"I wish I'd reached out for help sooner. I wish I'd realised that I wasn't going to get better on my own — that making my development a priority wasn't selfish, it was essential."

You don't have to keep circling the lake.

You don't have to white-knuckle your way through another week of avoided conversations and swallowed frustration.

You can take five minutes right now, complete the scorecard, and see where you actually stand.

Not where you think you should be. Where you are.

And from there, you can decide what comes next.

Take the Practice Manager Confidence Scorecard

Because confidence isn't something you either have or don't.

It's something you build — with the right support, the right structure, and the courage to admit that rowing in circles isn't working anymore.

You're not failing. You're learning. And you don't have to do it alone.