There’s a powerful moment in Boundaries for Leaders by Dr Henry Cloud that’s stayed with me for years.

He’s talking with a CEO who’s struggling to turn around a dysfunctional culture in his organisation. The CEO reflects for a moment, then says:

“I’m ridiculously in charge, aren’t I?”

It’s a confronting statement—but also freeing.

Because it reminds us that leadership isn’t just about what we do or say.

It’s about what we allow.

You see, most practices have some kind of values statement. Maybe it’s up on the wall, in the team handbook, or mentioned in meetings.

But culture isn’t built by the nice things we say.

It’s shaped, day by day, by the things we tolerate.

Let’s take a few examples.

• A team member constantly turns up late—but no one says anything.

• Another speaks negatively about others behind their backs—but it’s ignored.

• Someone regularly cuts corners—but they’re great with patients, so it’s brushed off.

In each of those moments, we’re setting the culture.

Not by what we intended, but by what we allowed.

Over time, the worst behaviour that goes unchallenged becomes the standard everyone else works around.

And the trouble is, most of us don’t do this consciously. We let things slide because:

• We’re busy and it feels easier to let it go.

• We’re avoiding conflict (especially after a long day).

• Or we’re hoping it’ll just sort itself out.

The problem is—it rarely does.

I’ve worked with enough teams to know this:

• When leaders avoid uncomfortable conversations, resentment quietly builds.

• The good team members start to disengage.

• And the very culture they’ve worked hard to build starts to erode.

But here’s the good news.

The moment you realise you’re “ridiculously in charge”…

You can start to change it.

And no, that doesn’t mean becoming a dictator. It doesn’t mean watching every move your team makes.

It means leading with intention.

It means being clear about the behaviours that align with your values—and having the courage to address the ones that don’t.

Sometimes that’s a gentle word.

Sometimes it’s resetting expectations.

Sometimes it’s making tough decisions.

But every time you act, you’re sending a signal about what matters.

I’ll be talking more about this in a free webinar I’m running on Wednesday 27th March, where we’ll explore:

• What leadership really needs to look like in 2025

• Why culture is more important than ever

• And how to lead your team without burning yourself out

It’s for managers, principals, and anyone who wants to grow a stronger, more accountable team—and stop spinning plates.

If that’s you, I’d love you to join me.

Register here.

In the end, you don’t need to have all the answers.

You don’t need to be perfect.

But you do need to lead with clarity and consistency.

Because the truth is: The culture you allow is the culture you get.

And if you want something better, it starts with you.